Baby Race! (Part One)

Baby Race! (Part One), originally uploaded by Ritchie.

The competitors faced off at the starting line.

On the right, Ritch Duncan, comedian and competitive drunken baby-racing champion for the past 5 years. He prepared for this race by drinking 5 Miller Genuine Drafts before the race, and appeared to be in top form, with his personalized race garb of baseball hat and day planner (tucked Wayne Gretzky-like into his back left pocket.)

On the left, Olivia Cronin, a newcomer to the baby racing scene (not odd, seeing as in order to qualify, you must be under a year old.) Still, along with her sister Julia, the Cronin girls have been blowing away the competition with a combination of lightning quick speed, deceptively tight cornering, and an aggressive cuteness that can put off an opponent.

There has not been a sister team this promising at drunken baby racing since a couple of African American sisters by the names of Venus and Serena Williams burst onto the scene in the early 1980's. Before they had ever picked up Tennis rackets, they were racking up drunken baby racing wins by blowing past high profile drunks like Billy Martin, Charles Bukowski and Dean Martin.

Who will win?!

(results tomorrow)